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Wednesday, February 22

Random photos and linkage


Nick wants half of everything in the divorce. He wants half of the money and the jewelry he bought Jessica. When Newlyweds began, he was best known for being the lead singer of the boy band, O-Town. I mean, N*SYNC. Or was it The Backdoor Boys? Either way, she catapulted to fame while he was forced to live in the shadow of his wife. That must have sucked!

Now Jessica is dating Adam Levine, singer from Maroon 5. Do you think she would learn her lesson and date a non-singer? How about that nice boy, Ryan Seacrest, wouldn't they make an equally tan couple? Anyway, Nick and Papa Joe almost got in a fight, over this whole divorce kerfluffle. Bring it on old man!



This is Whitney's Crack on Ice look. Do you think she should have left the babushka at home or taken off the coat? Why only one glove? Because two would have taken a rather subtle outfit too far.


Scarlett Johansson looks like someone put her under a dermatologist's mirror and showed her what skin damage is. She glows! Rather than find her tropically cancerous skin condition attractive, I think she resembles a sixty year old socialite from Boca Raton with bad botox.


When asked if he was dating Teri Hatcher, George Clooney replied with an enthusiastic, "Hell to the No!" But he is sneaking around with Ms. Bulimia Squishy Cheeks herself, Ms. Renee Zellweger. The two dated a while ago and have been seen together recently.



With nothing better to do than think about creative ways to keep Katie's pillow from looking stale, Tom is considering a lawsuit. He wants to sue Life & Style for printing those awful lies about he and his lady love Katie splitting up. Nothing is further from the truth! They are so happy and in love, witness his fingers digging deep into the fleshy skin of her upper arm in the above photo.



Sienna Miller is usually downright pretty. But here, not so much. Sienna reminds me of a teenage boy wearing his sisters clothes in the above photo. No offense to teenage boys.



This is almost a nip slip! Better have the double sided tape ready.



Modest and ethereal. I like it. Mischa Barton looks like an angel. But she is filled with devish hatred for a certain someone. Cat fight! Bring it on bitches!



Oh dear. It's the Statue of Liberty on crack.



Earlier this day, Jennifer Love Hewitt was shopping at the Hustler store. So rest assured she is wearing crotchless panties made of chocolate. Also, it was her birthday. I sent her a support bra and a bottle of hair dye. Her beehive is too dark and her boobs are drifting too far south.



Haylie Duff turned 30 and had a party...but I was not invited. That was a real surprise actually. She and I, we're tight. Anyway, isn't her dress quite similar to the one Paris wore to her birthday party? Who forgot to tell me the dress du jour was a hot pink satin number with black lace? Gah! I wore the bright blue tube top with satin hot pants and thigh high boots. Once again, I missed the dress code.


I feel so sorry for Charlize. Not only is she super ugly but look at those sausage legs, poor girl.
(kidding, people, I'm kidding!)




Y'all Britney went to Maui for some sun and relaxation with Little P. Yup. Kevin is nowhere to be seen. Like, duh! He's busy in the studio making his music.



Oye vey! Isn't this guy behind bars or detoxing somewhere? Pete Doherty said Kate Moss called him and that she still loves him! Yes! Is that the pink elephants talking or are the unicorns riding over the rainbow again?



Ralph, or Rafe as you like to be called, listen. ..You didn't have to bring a high priced hooker to the awards show! All I ask for is a nice bottle of wine and maybe a good dinner, a fancy dress and a pair of Jimmy Choos. Why, you didn't have to shell out thousands to bring that rental girl with you!
Aren't you petrified the world knows your secret? Or was dating a sixty-one year old woman embarrassing enough? Either way, call me for the Oscars, love. Im available at a moments notice. And I have a buy one-get one free coupon I'm willing to extend as well.
*photos from JJB, Gossiprocks, Saving Face


31 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You know, I'm beginning to think that maybe it's just me. A friend of mine takes care of my kids occasionally, and I get a bit jealous. Why is Brit sitting there while the nanny is taking care of the kid? If I could bring myself to hire a nanny full time, I'd really rather have her carrying the bags and all, while I got to take care of the kiddos without stress. Preferably I'd just have a full time housekeeper, and get to deal with the kids stress free. Then again, I like to cook. Maybe Daddy could watch them then and we'd be set? I digress. @ 3:48 AM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Random, yes, but I like Katie's dress. It's hard to find nice, formal maternity dresses. @ 3:50 AM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
To Anon 3:48, it's NOT just you. This celebrity nanny crap is ridiculous. Not only is it too much for her to hold her own child, but she's drinking a damn beer while watching the Nanny parent the child. TACKY. And yes I'm a mom (single, at that) so I have room to talk. @ 4:35 AM GMT  
Blogger design officer said...
what happens to choc-o-lat panties when subjected to moist situations? @ 4:54 AM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Someone please tell me why Jennifer Love Hewitt is still famous? She is not nearly as cute as she thinks she is. @ 5:39 AM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Go Mischa! Not only do you look gorgeous, you also dissed Paris like noone has before! Thumbs up! @ 1:07 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
JESUS!! It only took 37 friggin' hours for the page to load. DJ you have got to move!

Now what was in going to say.... Oh yeah! Sienna Miller is really not very attractive at all. Katie looks.....

Oh screw it! All my venom petered out waiting for the damn page to load. @ 3:45 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Statue of Liberty on crack...BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHHA

Kelly is fuggin fugly @ 5:12 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
The woman in the pic with "Rafe" - is that the woman he was having an affair with for 2 years while he was still with Francesca?

I'm a fan of his, but less so. @ 5:37 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Okay. One: If Zellweger wants to settle down and have kids, she should probably get back on track dating straight men. If George Clooney really is straight, he is certainly not the marrying kind. Some girls have really poor judgment. Two: I want to smash Tom Cruise for the way he treats Katie, even though she is an adult and can make her own choices. Three: Hewitt's boobs sag more than mine, and I've breast-fed two kids for a year each. @ 5:52 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Isn't there ANYONE left in Hollywood that's not trashy, slutty, nasty, ugly, or stupid? @ 6:10 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Sigh. Without the trashy, slutty, nasty, ugly, or stupid to cap on, we'd have to get lives and concern ourselves with world events of real importance. More importantly, DJ would have to get a real job. We can't have that, can we? @ 8:56 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
^ Perish the thought. DJ's forte is blogging. Besides, we don't really want her to publish a book do we? The critics would savage it. @ 9:20 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
excellent question anon 6:10. they do exist but they're not as fun to bash. and bad behaviour gets the headlines. @ 9:28 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
From Gawker: "Tom Cruise considers suing Life & Style for reporting that he had split with fiancée Katie Holmes. Uh, considers? The Tom Cruise we know would’ve served them with papers 2 days before the damn thing hit the stands. What’s become of you, Tom? You’re a shell of your former self."

Stay tuned kids, this one's got legs. @ 11:03 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
OK - the woman with Rafe/Ralph is actually his sister Sophie Finnes. She is a documentary film maker who spends most of her time trying to convince the British public that she did not get where she is today by riding on her siblings coat tails....if you look colsely she looks a bit like a fem Joseph Finnes.

Also, can we discuss the dodgy nature of Tom Cruise's visit to Australia for the funeral of the country's richest man. All of a sudden he is best friends with the heir....looking for a big donation to Xenu perhaps! @ 12:44 AM GMT  
Anonymous non vocabulum said...
Britney's a fat slut.

Tom's an alien cocksucker. @ 4:58 AM GMT  
Blogger ffleur said...
I was thinking that was Ralph's sister. The body language and similar eyes gave it away.

Katie's belly looks huge! The mystery of the growing/shrinking alien fetus continues.

Britney's baby might be better in the nanny's trained arms. At least she wouldn't drive with the baby in her lap. And it might not be beer Brit is drinking - could be gingerbeer! @ 7:21 AM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
dj, i love reading your blog daily but it takes so long to load and i have dsl! can you get rid of some old stuff or something??? @ 5:47 PM GMT  
Anonymous Ben & Jerry's Muse said...
I must agree...why is it so bogged down? @ 7:45 PM GMT  
Blogger TeevHo said...
Britney, Britney, Britney... that kid is much better off being raised by nannies or wolves or crazy folks than his pappy and mammy. @ 1:23 AM GMT  
Blogger Bethany said...
I feel so sad for JLH and her saggy boobs. but not really. @ 4:24 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
WHAT ABOUT THE DOGS? @ 11:33 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
YOU ARE QUITE RIGHT!!!! WHAT ABOUT THE POOR DOGS!!!!! HOLLYWHORES WILL CONTINUE TO HAVE LARGE SYNTHETIC BREAST IMPLANTS AND THE DOGS WILL CONTINUED TO BE SLICED AND DICED, INJECTED AND DEJECTED!!!!!! FOR SHAME ON ALL WHO WISH TO DEPRIVE SOME THE ILL FOUNDED PLEASURE OF A TASTY, CRISPY FRIED CHICKEN THIGH, WHILST THEY THEMSELVES SPORT LARGE LIQUID SILICONISH BREAST IMPLANTS THAT WERE TESTED UPON HELPLESS, DEFENSELESS DOGS!!!!!!! PEOPLE, WHAT ABOUT THE DOGS!!!!!!!! @ 9:02 PM GMT  
Anonymous a. nonny mouse said...
Love the "Statue of Liberty on crack" comment. Quite funny! @ 11:35 PM GMT  
Blogger RC said...
THought the britney spears comment was pretty funny...

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com @ 2:15 AM GMT+1  
Blogger Deshona said...
Nick is a good man and I hope he gets all that he wants out of this divorice with the bitch. She would be a nobody if it wasnt for him and the show. She is also stupid. I hope he gets it all plus some. @ 9:42 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Smiley said...
:) @ 4:13 AM GMT+1  
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Anonymous Kylisha said...
Nice blog. I love the pics

Thanks,

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Blogger dennymour said...
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@ 4:51 AM GMT  
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