Paris turns 25!
Paris Hilton turned 25 on February 17th which means she and I both fall under the astrological sign of Aquarius. Many Aquarians have mental problems, it's a proven fact and a reason why I'm so fond of my "happy pills" which Tom Cruise is trying to wean me off of. Paris is also known to have a delicate emotional constitution. Who would have thought we were alike in any way? Aside from that, the things Paris and I have in common ends abruptly.
In the above photos, either Paris is bloated or has a belly full of semen from a fellow party-goer, perhaps many deposits were made in the bank of Hilton that evening. We will never know because Paris doesn't kiss and tell. She does however, take copious notes and lock her journals in storage facilities. She also is open to video taping her exploits so stay tuned for a video surfacing on the internet.
In other P. Hilton news, she cites drugged out rocker Pete Doherty as a musical influence. Yes, you read that correctly. Click here for the full story. She wants to jump his fragile and coke- filled bones. Why? Because Kate Moss did and she's hot!