Conversations about Famous People: Posh, world domination

Friday, January 20

Posh, world domination

"People want to be ME!"

You want to look like her...

Pose like her.. .

Dress like her...

You want to be like her, dont you?

Armed with a ghostwriter, a unicorn notebook, a purple gel pen and a pair of tight pants, Victoria Beckham is setting out to light the publishing world on fire! She is working on a story collection for children, yes that’s right. The woman who confessed to never reading a novel in her life is writing a series of books. Her collection will bury Madonna's Kaballah inspired folk tales under a sea of cold hard cash.

Victoria is also designing a line of clothing because so many people want to look like her and dress like her and be like her, why shouldn’t she profit from it? That’s right. She is going to show us how to be Posh! But..but.. I simply cannot be that skinny! Or waxy looking.

I think this is a covert attempt by Tom and Katie to brainwash the public into Scientology. Recently Tom was rumored to be courting Posh and Becks, luring them into the Dianetic fold with promises of free spaceship rides, golden medals and trips to the moon.

Last week Katie and Posh went shoe-shopping, ensuring a way to insert the implantation/tracking device into Posh's Jimmy Choos. This is all a big effort to transform the public into becoming Xenu clones. Next on the roster is Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Popozao!

22 Comments:

The Box That Rocks said...: I hate this freak and I wish for the life of me someone can explain why we are subjected to her and her she-hubby day in and out. WE DON'T CARE WHAT THE BRITISH DO UNLESS IT'S CLIVE OWEN, Get it? Now GO AWAY. @ 4:50 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: I'd rather look like Rosie O'Donnell than her. @ 8:04 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: how can she think she's beautiful ?! She's a freak surrounded by liars ! How can her husband stand to look at her ?... @ 11:10 AM GMT
Here's Why I Did Not Go To Work Today said...: Her face is right out of a twilight zone episode -- you know, the one where the greedy relatives morph into pig faced freaks. I agree with Angela -- go the "f" away.

Right now, her nasty puss is curtlingmy stomach. I must go... @ 1:02 PM GMT
Lisa Pizza said...: ^^^ Holy crap you are soooo right! That second pic of her especially looks like the daughter from that ep! Here's a pic for reference:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/2a/Tv_shot_the_twilight_zone_the_masks.jpg/250px-Tv_shot_the_twilight_zone_the_masks.jpg @ 1:26 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: She's looking like that Wildenstein woman who had plastic surgery to look like a cat. @ 2:44 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: I want to see a celebrity write something other than a children's book. What is so appealing about a children's book? There are pretty pictures, and a lot less writing than in a book for adults, but why is this something that celebs enjoy doing? @ 3:46 PM GMT
lauritajuanitasanchez said...: They write children's books so that they don't have to use big words.

I'd love to be invited to a dinner party with Posh and Becks so that I could sit back and soak in their scintilating conversation. I'm sure their relationship is based on mutual intellectual stimulation. @ 4:13 PM GMT
Ms. M said...: I'm choking on my own vomit. This woman needs a ghost writer to write a children's book? WTF? Angela said it...GO AWAY! GRRRRRR! @ 4:18 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: What kind of toilet paper does she use? I want some!! @ 4:26 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: For years I have been trying to pin a word on her complexion - "waxy" totally nails it! @ 5:22 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: If you agree with Angela's anti-Brit sentiments then you can all fuck off. Especially Angela. Dicks. But fair point on Victoria. @ 5:58 PM GMT
enoughparis said...: okay anon 12:58 - it's medication time.
I think what Angela meant was Clive Owen is a hottie and I would quickly agree with that thought. Do you think if someone wrote DON'T WRITE ABOUT CANADIANS UNLESS IT'S KIEFER SUTHERLAND I would flip my lid like you and tell everyone to f- off. No, I would think "damn, that girl's got something for ole Jack Bauer.
Relax.
As for Posh. Anon 9:44 you nailed it. That's exactly who she looks like! Can't blame Beck's for wanting to screw someone else besides his plastic wife. @ 7:28 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: OK, kids, let's get back to Posh-bashing.

She is simply foul. If I am sick of her piggy nose face, I can only imagine what Becks thinks. How in the world did she snag such a hottie for a husband? @ 10:51 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: I wouldn't mind having her body, sans the grapefruit tits, and any other woman who says differently is lying. She has toned but thin arms, a flat, lightly muscled stomach, and lean, long legs that are thin but muscular and not sticklike. Most women have arms with some flab, stomach fat, and legs that are scrawny or stocky. @ 11:16 PM GMT
The Box That Rocks said...: Thanks for all the support peeps! And yeah, duh, of course I don't hate Brits. It's called HYPERBOLE. Look it up, Limey. (Hahahahha) @ 11:43 PM GMT
n.v. said...: Nah, she looks like Tweety after he turns evil in the "Jeckyll and Hyde" episodes on Looney Tunes. @ 5:09 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Wow. Can we all say rode hard... @ 5:10 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: THATS A MAN!!!!!! @ 9:58 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: Poor Beckham, because this he get woman ,she is very stranger. @ 2:34 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Actually 'Hyperbole' means gross exaggeration. I don't need to look that up to know it. Linking an entitre nation as one and saying 'you don't want to hear about them' is called something else intirely. @ 10:29 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: That's not a man. IT'S A RUBBER PIG/DUCK!!! @ 11:42 AM GMT