Conversations about Famous People: Jennifer Aniston, Memoirs of a Woman Scorned

Wednesday, February 1

Jennifer Aniston, Memoirs of a Woman Scorned

Excerpt from chapter one, "I like to look into the ocean and imagine Brad drowning..."

Jennifer Aniston is set retaliate against emotional cheater Brad Pitt by writing a tell- all novel based on her marriage to him. Jen has spent many hours scribbling in her journal and will spill the beans about her feelings and emotions for all of us to read. For over your $24.95 for a hardcover of Jennifer’s Diary for Brad. For that much money I want to know how she get those perfect highlights, how much she pays to have her hair done and does she prefer Mystic tanning to the old fashion beds?

Jen will detail how the split came to be (Angelina) whose fault is really was (Angelina’s) and who her resentment is directed towards (Angelina). I'm just guessing here that perhaps Angelina Jolie had something to do with the breakup although the marriage was on the skids for some time. Like the great poet said, 'It takes two to make a dream go right, it takes two to make it outta sight'. And it takes two to make a marriage fail.

I hope she includes the nitty gritty details of the life with Brad otherwise, why waste our time reading it? I'd like to know if Brad dresses as woman in his down time? Does he have annoyingly gross habits like biting his toenails? What was he doing on Sunset Strip in the early 1980’s looking for men? Is he really bisexual? Inquiring minds want to know! And seriously, when he guest starred on Friends, did David Schwimmer’s monotone voice make him want to stick his head in the oven? Gah, that would get to me.

Meanwhile, Jennifer and Vince are getting very serious and its been reported that the former playboy is moving in with Jen and the two are very much in love. It began as a friendship where Vince would make Jen laugh with his impersonations of Brad, and then through the laughter and the tears the two forged a beautiful romance…sigh. If only a Pegasus could sweep them into a candy filled sky, we would all live happily ever after.

In other news, Angelina has been complaining about how much she hates being pregnant and this is the last time she carries a baby Pitt. I understand, all the pregnancy aches and pains are no fun at all. Try labor and delivery, its like squeezing a watermelon through a keyhold if you want the truth. Plus, its hard to constantly fly in a private jet all around the world carrying the baby weight and feeling nauseas.

If the baby is a boy, she plans on naming him William Nairobi and if it’s a girl she will name her Marlow Kenya. Jamie Oliver is going to prepare the foodstuffs at their wedding, slated for Valentines Day-cheesey!- and Jen is boiling mad over this since Jamie is her friend too. And Guy Richie, Madonna's bitch, will play the role of best man.

44 Comments:

Anonymous said...: I hate this babbling, selfish, vain woman. I thought she was "over it" and "at peace." Angelina is at the world economic forum trying to make changes in this world. Jennifer is whining and getting highlights, starving herself, and tanning. How anyone can look at Jen as the better person is beyond. What a weird society we live in where spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on your looks (zone meals, personal trainers, pilates instructors, highlights, tanning, nutritionists, personal masseuses, etc.) and constantly talking about yourself is prized and trying to make positive changes in the world is looked down upon. @ 1:56 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Aniston is proving how stupid she is again. She lies so much, nobody will believe anything she has to say. She needs to get over Brad. He would never have her back. @ 2:05 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Seems like everyday jen is planning something evil. Rumor has it, Vince will be dumping her soon. He said, all she talks about is Brad and Angie.
Jen does look great in this pic. Her face isn't visible, that helps a lot. @ 2:16 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: why are youthree such biatches? @ 2:47 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: How the hell is it being bitchy to question a world where a self-obsessed looks-obsessed whiner is lauded and someone who actually tries to do some good in the world and donate time and money is hated? Chinnifer Maniston is the selfish biatch. I am disgusted by how self-involved she is. When she is in New York, she tans and gets her hair done. When Jolie is in New York, she takes care of her beautiful children and attends conferences to help other people. @ 2:59 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Anon 9:47, have you not noticed that the point of this website is to be bitchy? If you can't handle it, go to an Aniston fansite. Otherwise, shut the hell up and stop whining. I can see why you're a fan of Fugiston. Boo frickin' hoo. @ 3:01 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: I hope this isn't true. If wants her privacy so badly, maybe she should stop doing things to put herself in the spotlight. Otherwise, can it Jen. @ 3:02 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: 8:56 never shuts up. Loves the diatribes. Apparently doesn't realize all actresses, her beloved Angelina included, spend buttload of time and money on themselves. And the rants keep coming. Three times to the tanning bed!!! Let's hear it again. Can't get enough of that line. Get a freakin' life. Why don't you do something for the common good instead of bitching about Jennifer Aniston. Or bitch about all the other self absorbed actors as well. Why just her? Because you have an irrational hatred of her in particular, just admit it and be done with it and quit trying to blame on the damned tanning salon. If you think Angelina's so great take her example and while the WEF may be out of your reach do something other than bitch about Jennifer.
And so ends my very own diatribe. @ 3:45 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Angelina isn't out to change the world she's out to make good publicity for herself. If she really gave a shit about the world she would sell a few dozen of her mansions and live in one regular home like a normal person and give the money to worthy causes. Yeah I know she's gives money but not enough to sacrifice the life of luxury so it doesn't really mean shit until she gives 'til it hurts. And she's several million away from that point. @ 3:48 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Actually 10:45, you are not only an idiot, but an ignorant hypocrite as well. Perhaps you shouldn't mouth off about things you know nothing about. Perhaps you shouldn't mouth off at all. First of all your ignorance, I volunteer huge amounts of time and donate the money I have. That is why I am such an Angelina fan. Her contributions directly helped an organization I worked with. What the hell do you do? Anything to help anyone, you ignorant cow?
Second of all, your idiocy. I bitch about Jen because she is constantly praised and I think it is absurd that such a selfish, self-obsessed poster child for anorexia, hair-straightening, tanning, and overall promoting of changing your looks as much as possible is praised so much while a good person is slagged off.
Third, your hypocrisy. Isn't this website about bitching at/about celebrities? Do all of us need lives? By responding and mentioning your familiarity with my posts about Maniston's tanning, aren't you in need of a freakin' life as well? Shouldn't you be doing something to help the common good? Nah, you probably are too busy dieting like your precious, ugly Jen. @ 4:07 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: I don't think anyone's hatred of Jennifer Aniston is "irrational." You want rational reasons? You got an hour?
And it is hilarious when posters taking the time to post on this website tell other posters that they need a life because they post on this website.;) @ 4:10 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: my question to 10:45 is why don't people complain about britney spears id they are so concerned about so-called homewreckers, especially when nobody really knows what happened with brad and angie. if you want to know why people complain about jen answer that one first. @ 4:12 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Whatever Jolie does, it is more then Jen and probably more then anyone here. The better woman got the man. The whiny ugly woman got sympathy and Vince. Whatever. @ 4:14 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: And DJ has used that picture of Aniston a million times. It's a celebrity bashing website. Who cares how someone bashes a celebrity? Shut up 10:45pm. @ 4:22 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: What I will never understand is how it is somehow "not enough" to donate time, money and your position to a cause if you haven't given IT ALL. If reports are true, AJ donates 1/3 of her income to various charitable organizations. That's a hell of a lot of money! The same report said that she saves 1/3, and spends 1/3. So what? Whether we believe she's entitled to the amount of money she makes is irrelevant. Anyone who donates 1/3 of their income cannot possibly be doing it for publicity anymore. Not to mention that, really, come on, how much publicity does she really need? She was awfully darn popular before she adopted and before she started trying to raise poverty awareness.

Honestly, I'm not an AJ fan nor do I have any hatred of JA. But I can say that just from a personal standpoint (whether it's for publicity or not), I'd rather read about AJ raising awareness for charitable causes and spending time with her children than read about another vapid "starlet" dropping thousands of dollars in minutes at yet another boutique on yet another purse of which they already own 5 others, just in a different colors.

Whatever. @ 5:09 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Ha, and to think it was just recently Jen wanted us to believe she was taking the high road and keeping her private life PRIVATE.

ps - Thanks DJ, I will now have Rob Base stuck in my head the rest of the night.. @ 5:12 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Anon 11:12, do you READ here? People make fun of Britney Spears ALL THE TIME, about EVERYTHING, including her absolute stupidity in pursuing a "man" that is the epitome of trailer trash. I think the reason that people don't feel *quite* as bad about it is because... well, Shar Jackson must be mental if SHE wanted Kevin in the first place! He was gross when he was with her, and she chose to reproduce with him TWICE! What is wrong with these women?? @ 5:13 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: I think 10:48 hit it on the head. She's not out to do good things. She just wants people to think she is. She lives in Hollywood for crying out loud! It's all smoke and mirrors. @ 5:28 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: People may mock Britney but no one acts as though she is straight up evil or calls her a homewrecker every post.

Also, what publicity, exactly is Angelina milking from her charity work? Unlike Paris Hilton, I don't see her partying and going shopping at Kitson? Unlike Gwenyth, I don't her making asinine pronouncements randomly. Unlike JA, I haven't seen her giving interviews left and right or making statements or going on Oprah or giving magazine interviews about how strong she is (Elle, VF, People, etc.). If she wanted publicity, wouldn't she be at all the award shows and parties and give interviews, etc. @ 5:30 AM GMT
Layla said...: WHO GIVES A SHIT?!!!! Face it - none of us know these people. It's pointless to argue about it.

That said, please keep arguing. It's really fun to read =) @ 6:42 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Don't have time to write what I really think, but ditto 11:07, 12:09. Right on! @ 7:20 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Okay...I'm going to ignore the scariness of your hatred towards JA. I suspect its fewer people writing than it seems, if you know what I mean.
All I want to know is...does anyone know if Ange was taking 'fertility treatment' as the papers are suggesting? And what treatment is that? Just drugs to boost fertility or artificial insemination? Both are called 'fertility treatment'. Either way....is it the actions of people who are trying to lessen the blow to the former wife of Brad? Ange was preggers before the marriage was finalised...if she was taking fertility treatment of any kind BEFORE that...well, I think it says it all really. Kind of undermines everyone who says they weren't having an affair, aren't courting publicity, seeking public acceptance/sympathy and certainly not that they have any but their own best intentions at heart.
Nice couple @ 9:50 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Also...if you only hate JA for highlights etc...do you hate the rest of hollywood too? @ 9:51 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: I guess that with AJ Brad finally found how he could finally lead a more meaningfull life - contrary to JA whom nobody will remember in some years @ 10:23 AM GMT
My Last Ever Post said...: There are some seriously nasty people in here, I've been posting for months but I won't be returning. You make me sick. Guess none of you will be getting married because you clearly don't believe in the sanctity of it. Have fun in your personal hell. @ 12:34 PM GMT
Mrs. Jamaica said...: Man! you people are fickle as hell! And the media is something else (incl. this blog), when they decide to turn on you watch out! I can remember when Ms. Aniston was the darling of the press, everybody wanted to cut their hair like hers, get her highlights, she was on the cover of this and that magazine, she was one half of hollywood's golden couple etc. all good things. And now! Maniston, chiniston, whiny, bitch, blah, blah. It must really suck to be a celebrity sometimes, especially if you learn to crave publicity. But keep going people, I really enjoy the fickleness. @ 2:25 PM GMT
MK said...: last i checked none of you are in AJs or JAs "inner circle" so i'm fairly sure you don't know jack shit about what you're saying. 1/3 of my income this blah blah... who gives a shit? i guess that means i'm a bad person because i don't donate my money to charity too. well i'm on unemployment, anyone want to help this charity case? @ 3:42 PM GMT
poop stinks said...: I hate all of Hollywood. Which is why I occasionally visit this site. Western culture (consumerism) in general disgusts me. @ 3:49 PM GMT
Team Aniston said...: First of all it was Star Magazine that reported the tell all story. Jennifer is not writing the book. Jennifer does do charitable work. I applaud Angelina and her work, she does far more than most. But we cant hate Jen for not doing the same. They are different people. I like Jennifer Aniston and feel that she was dumped for another woman and I feel for her. It is from what I have read and then I came to my conclusions. Did I get the Jennifer Aniston hair cut yes. Do I not like Angelina -no I dont. Brad looks like shit too. Britney sucks ass as well. @ 3:57 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: All this bitching about thse two women, what about Brad's sorry ass. He's the one to blame here if there's been infidenlity and to infer that he's a better person now because he's with AJ because now he doing "good stuff" and that he didn't do "good stuff" because of JA is inferring he's a weenie that can't think for himself...AND HE IS. He's done nothing but drag on AJ's coat tails since this whole thing started. LITERALLY. Check out 95% of the pics of him and her....he's always following behind, carrying a child. Looks more like a nanny than a boyfriend/lover. I say there's more to this than meets the eye and it's NOT love. People can spew all they want that this couple is in love but my opinion is, I don't see it. Anywho........HE'S the terd in this scenerio. @ 4:34 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: I wasn't going to say this, but...

I am a long-term contributor to and supporter if RAINN, Tori Amos' rape, abuse and insest network. I have been a part of the organization for 8 years.

Aniston has given literally millions of dollars to RAINN, but has declined countless times to be a spokesperson (which is her choice). I've known this for years.

I don't believe she's going to write a book, but I assure you, she DOES give a LOT of her money to charity. I think Jolie is great for working with the UN, but please don't discount the private contributors like Aniston. I have never written my charity off on my taxes, because my father taught me that charity is meant to be done so that way, without any benefits from it, so I understand her position. @ 4:52 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: incest, sorry for the oversight @ 4:52 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: DJ: Your writing gets better and better with each passing day. I love your sly wit and scathing comments at the ridiculousness of the whole celebrity culture. It really is terrific satire! You need to write for TV (if indeed you aren't already). Seriously. You're hilarious.

Tracy @ 4:54 PM GMT
layla said...: I agree with Tracy - DJ, your writing is hilarious! @ 5:27 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: Guy Richie is going to be the best man????? I thought the Pitt family was thisclose so why isn't Brad's brother going to be the best man?

And I'm sure the stories about Jen writing a book are complete bullshit. @ 7:04 PM GMT
Little Kitten said...: HEY EVERYONE! stop ranting on Jen. the truth is we only know what the tabloids tell us. a woman doesn't starve herself without someone pushing her and since she has a weight problem in her genes well atleast she's handeling it and hey! she looks healthy (*cought*lindsey lohan)also if 2 people aren't willing to make a marriage work it won't so there had to have been deeper unresolved issues there than what we see. the truth is if my husband left me for another woman and i'd write a book no one would care! but since these ppl are stars it matters. just cuz angelina did some good in the world doesn't mean she's forgiven. and also did she really? since she has this nice jet she coulda just flown down there and taken a pic or 2 and come right back. that's the beauty of hollywood. (not saying that she did that) anyway i think they're both great women but right now whatever they're doing it's just good publicity. who's been on the covers for like a year now?? THEM!! @ 8:18 PM GMT
I'm so over Brad Pitt! said...: I think it's absolutely hysterical that people argue with each other over who is better...Jennifer or Angelina. My humble opinion is this. I don't have anything against either woman. I think they both have their good sides and bad sides. I think they both do things for publicity (hello, they work in Hollywood). However, I think the most ridiculous part of this love triangle is Brad Pitt. I used to worship the man, and thought he was God's gift to women until this story broke about him and Angelina. Has anyone noticed how Brad doesn't seem to have a brain or mind of his own? He only molds himself to be a mirror image of who he is with. Look at pictures of him with Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston, and now, Angelina Jolie. He can't think for himself! If he did cheat on Jennifer while they were married, then he is as scum-ridden as other cheating men are. If he waited to develop his relationship with Angelina once his marriage was over, then more power to him and her. We'll never know because we weren't there.

Who cares who gives more money to charity? Who cares how vain they are? They're all vain simply because they're celebrities. I'm so tired of this story...but felt I had to say something. I mean, we all have our opinions. @ 8:39 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: Hey Anon 10:01 PM - I didn't ask why you were biatches based on your opinions of J. An.
I just wanted to know why you suck so bad. Looks like you have a little dribble on your chin... verbal diarrhea perhaps? @ 3:24 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: haha, 10:24 is an idiot. If you wanted to know why people "sucked so bad" then why ask why they were bitches? And if it wasn't based on opinions of JA, what was it based on, moron? @ 3:55 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: Get over it and move on, Jennifer. I don't buy your pity party for a minute. If the marriage was in good shape, Brad wouldn't have strayed. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

I won't be buying Miss Perfect Hair's book. @ 2:16 PM GMT
RedPeggy said...: Wow...several people who said something worth hearing! Thankyou anon 11.52 regarding Jen's donations to the rape charity - you made some really good points, and I agree wholeheartedly with you and your dad that charity is not done for any other 'rewards'. I urge everyone to reread what anon 11.52 said if you missed it.
Also liked reading 'Littlekitten''s comments, and 'I'm so over Brad''s. How can people not see what a carbon copy of his girlfriends that man becomes! Its embarrassing, and much as I dislike her I can't actually believe Ang is going out with him. And thanks for anon 11.34 for keeping it real and stating it simply. Brad was the turd in all of this. @ 1:42 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: Wow this is so hilarous to see all of u arguing like this.
The truth is none of us really no anything about Jen! Just cuz she makes a fool of herself(sometimes) in public doesnt mean she isnt nice or smart. Just like they say u shouldn't judge a book by its cover!! @ 11:43 PM BST
Anonymous said...: I really think all this is really stupid
because people talk about jennifer aniston and they dnt know a fuck bout her
so look after your own life's
stupid people wasring time by talking about a women they dnt even know!!
She is a Beautfull women
I guess she better than u all
And I am sure she dont waste her time writing horrible stuff bout all the biatches that u all are!!
So SHUT UP
Dnt talk about some1 u dnt even know
And prob never will
Let Jen Aniston B happY With Vince Alone ...
Its Enough For Her.. Losing The Man That She Loved For Another Bitch!
That people think shes good .. just cause she look after kids ..
i do that everyday..!!!
No 1 ever told me that i had a good heart so who cares...
If she was good she wouldn make brad and jen split up...
she would tell him to get alife and look after his wife..
thats being a good person!!
haahhahaha
Bye Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
U can continue with ur stupid stuff..
hahaha
twats @ 5:04 PM BST
monica said...: hi this is monica i love Jennifer Aniston, i think she deserves to be love by a Prince like Vince, and we hope she lives happy ever afer, she does a lot of charity, i wish the best for her and vince, about angelina jolie, she is a ex-lesbian and had many husbands, and her husband brad pitt is just a pretty face hollywood, that both of them want to call attention to do charity for Africa, but it should be silent, and i think angelina jolie and brad pitt deseve to live bad, because they made Jennifer Aniston cry and she will be happy with Vince and then Brad will regret , and want to come back with Jen and leave Angie Jolie and then she will marry Vince, and have children. @ 4:57 PM GMT