Conversations about Famous People: Wild On: Tara's Ass!

Friday, July 29

Wild On: Tara's Ass!

Tara Reid was the obvious choice for the host of Wild On. The producers tried to talk me into it but I refused, politely explaining that while I enjoy mini skirts and vodkatinis and the company of Paris Hilton, the three really don't mix. I felt uncomfortable given what happened between Paris and me and Paris recently. You know. I just hope the video isn't circulating somewhere over in Europe.

I'm thrilled the job went to such a qualified candidate as Tara. She can actually fart to the tune of the greatest party song on earth, "Ninety Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and can ignore the feeling of naked ass cheeks while I get all bent out of shape when my firm yet peachy butt is showing. She has no problem with drunken and disorderly conduct and prefers to go without underpants. The cotton and elastic is so constricting! There's nothing worse than fumbling with the burden of a pair of panties when you have to go to the bathroom, you know what

I mean girls?

Tara also offers a pillowy pair of implants and a throaty smokers voice which I simply do not possess. Besides that, she is a member of MENSA and speaks fluent Latin, can dance the lambada and is a limbo champion. She has worked with chimps and had documented several specials for PBS on penguin migration as well as the life cycle of butterflies. She recycles glass and paper and is an avid volunteer for Meals on Wheels. I swear, this girl is amazing. Is there anything she can't do? I mean, besides stay sober and remember clean underpants?

30 Comments:

Stupid Freaking Idiot said...: I'm first! I'm first. Wow. It's just dumb luck, not a real accomplishment. Who cares. Thank you to all my adoring fans. @ 5:58 AM BST
Anonymous said...: How nasty are they? Paris needs to her sasquatch feet & Tara just needs to hide EVERYTHING! @ 6:27 AM BST
Denny said...: Moon over my Hammy @ 6:27 AM BST
Anonymous said...: Tara is the ugliest drunk ever. @ 7:05 AM BST
Anonymous said...: She is a skank of the highest magnitude. @ 12:30 PM BST
Anonymous said...: Look at all those piggy men just waiting to man-handle those disgusting creatures. Plain old nasty. @ 12:31 PM BST
Anonymous said...: Can we say "vienna sausages"? @ 12:36 PM BST
Anonymous said...: OOOOOOHHHHH!!!! Parass looks so pretty. LOL!!!!!!!!!! @ 12:37 PM BST
Anonymous said...: Look at all those men sniffing around. It reminds me of male dogs waiting to get their turn with the females dogs in heat. @ 1:17 PM BST
Anonymous said...: So sad. She needs mothering. : ( And likely AA, NA, and some other A's. @ 1:21 PM BST
Anonymous said...: My question is, what is that blond woman doing behind Tara in pic #2? I really hope its not some assistant whose job it is to hold a cup for her while she pees in in b/c she can't make it to the bathroom...ew. @ 2:44 PM BST
R. U. Serious said...: Is there a guy in America who hasn't already "gone wild on Tara's ass"?

Scared Bunny @ 2:45 PM BST
Anonymous said...: Scared Bunny, sorry, I tried, but your site was too bland for me to take the time to navigate around to even see what was on there. You may want to post hilarious crayon drawings of yourself servicing celebs or something. @ 2:51 PM BST
Anonymous said...: Ah, when I was just a pup, I dreamed of stardom: class, fame, glamour, the public adoration, the clothes, the money blah blah blah.
Were my childhood idols of the 80s really as skanky and pathetic as these colon cleansing, ass bearing, vomit driven ho's? Sniff.... @ 3:01 PM BST
Anonymous said...: Those low-riding skirts always ride up. I hate that. But it looks bad when you're always tugging it back down. Makes you look nervous when you're always figiting with your clothes. I guess that's why Tara let her skirt ride up to her armpits. You go, girl! @ 5:12 PM BST
marmar said...: Hopefully, someone santized the chairs after she left.

Lysol, stat! @ 5:33 PM BST
MK said...: and just when i was starting to get down on myself for not running as much, DJ posts another photo that lets me know, my ass is not that saggy after all. Thanks DJ and Tara, my self-esteem owes you one. @ 6:26 PM BST
Rio Alvaria said...: When Paris Hilton looks embarrassed to be seen sitting next to you, you know you're in trouble. @ 8:34 PM BST
Anonymous said...: Is that blond woman behind Tara holding her up Lindsay's mom? @ 9:11 PM BST
nobonesaboutit said...: Tara is whining because she doesn't want to be known as "the drunk girl" anymore? Well, find another hobby Tara! Crack is whack - your asscrack that is! @ 9:55 PM BST
Team Aniston said...: I am a pretty messy drunk but its much better and easier on the eyes if your tits hang out. She tried that once and now this what else are we going to see? I cant go to Cooterville with Tara @ 11:33 PM BST
Anonymous said...: Parass looks like a blockhead. Literally, she looks like a blockhead. @ 11:41 PM BST
Anonymous said...: I think that publishing photos of Tara Reid's floppy ass without a warning ought to be a punishable offence. Where's the blog police when you need them?:) @ 4:25 AM BST
sjack827 said...: I have another theory here. (I'm on my 3rd daquari and am full of theories I'd like to share).

It's the theory of why Paris Hilton is around Tara Reid at all.

Tara Reid makes Paris Hilton look good. She's drunk, drugged, sloppy and openly whorish. It takes a lot of attention off the fact that Paris is all of those things too. By comparison, Paris looks like the picture of recitude and restraint. And right now Tara's giving the photographers all they can handle, helping to keep Paris in the news. I bet she's laughing her ass off at Tara behind her back. I can see of no other reason why she would want that dopehead around. Ok that's my theory. Oh and Tara has a nasty looking ass. @ 7:11 PM BST
Satisfied '75 said...: she must be off the blow based on the state of the bunns @ 7:44 AM BST
Pisser said...: What in the great holy-moly's going ON, here...? It looks like Tara just stage-dived and is being groped by the general public.

Scarily, this is probably a pretty accurate ASSesment. @ 9:12 AM BST
skyla said...: Poor Tara Reid, was formerly a pretty (average) actress with a nice smoky voice.
Now she's just a drunk ho and she really didn't need those implants, watched Van Wilder the other day and she looked pretty and fresh, her chest look okay not too small or too big. @ 2:00 PM BST
Anonymous said...: Theez pikchers r hot. Cal me, Tara. Luv Parass.
Pee Ess - 3sum okay? @ 6:22 AM BST
Anonymous said...: Paris' bunions are not hot. Her drunkness is nasty too. @ 8:14 AM BST
Anonymous said...: Her head is a giant Geometry project. @ 7:09 PM BST