Jessica is a lesbo
I'm going to give you the lowdown on a few things that happen in Celebrityland. It goes no further than here, okay peeps? I've explained what it means to suffer from "exhaustion" ie drug abuse/sex addiction/anorexia. I told you that when people split up and say they are going to "remain friends" it means they will occasionally hook up for some booty smacking.
Now I'm going to tell you a big fat Hollywood secret. All right, quiet down and listen up. You see, in this place we call Los Angeles, it's very common to be bi-sexual. That's just how it goes.
John Travolta, Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Jodie Foster, Pamela Anderson, Kevin Spacey, Matt Damon, Carmen Electra to name a few are bi -bi -bi- bi- bi and thats just a poo-poo platter of celebs that play for both teams, there are many more. You might want to add Jessica Simpson's name to the list. Pencil her in for now.
Rumor has it that her and her ever faithful hanger on, Cacee (or Caca) are more than just best friends who braid each others hair, squirt each other with self- tanner and have pillow fights after Nick goes to bed. The two are getting it ON like some bad girl on girl porn. Or maybe just whispering about unicorns, puppies and rainbows when the lights are turned off.
In a conflicting report, Jessica will announce her split from steriod loving Nick, also rumored to be bi, after the Dukes of Crappard hits theaters. She will then go public with Johnny "flaming poop" Knoxville who is divorcing his wife.
To confuse matters more, Jessica is talking about adopting a baby. I think it was a comment which was taken out of context because Jessica is not capable of brushing her own hair let alone diapering a baby. Plus, Louis Vuitton doesn't make infant carriers. Draw your own conclusions about tanorexic Jessica. Bi, straight, adopting a baby, sex with Johnny Knoxville, having a fling with her friend, abusing self tanning lotion- take your pick.