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Friday, July 15

Jessica is a lesbo


I'm going to give you the lowdown on a few things that happen in Celebrityland. It goes no further than here, okay peeps? I've explained what it means to suffer from "exhaustion" ie drug abuse/sex addiction/anorexia. I told you that when people split up and say they are going to "remain friends" it means they will occasionally hook up for some booty smacking.

Now I'm going to tell you a big fat Hollywood secret. All right, quiet down and listen up. You see, in this place we call Los Angeles, it's very common to be bi-sexual. That's just how it goes.
John Travolta, Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Jodie Foster, Pamela Anderson, Kevin Spacey, Matt Damon, Carmen Electra to name a few are bi -bi -bi- bi- bi and thats just a poo-poo platter of celebs that play for both teams, there are many more. You might want to add Jessica Simpson's name to the list. Pencil her in for now.

Rumor has it that her and her ever faithful hanger on, Cacee (or Caca) are more than just best friends who braid each others hair, squirt each other with self- tanner and have pillow fights after Nick goes to bed. The two are getting it ON like some bad girl on girl porn. Or maybe just whispering about unicorns, puppies and rainbows when the lights are turned off.

In a conflicting report, Jessica will announce her split from steriod loving Nick, also rumored to be bi, after the Dukes of Crappard hits theaters. She will then go public with Johnny "flaming poop" Knoxville who is divorcing his wife.

To confuse matters more, Jessica is talking about adopting a baby. I think it was a comment which was taken out of context because Jessica is not capable of brushing her own hair let alone diapering a baby. Plus, Louis Vuitton doesn't make infant carriers. Draw your own conclusions about tanorexic Jessica. Bi, straight, adopting a baby, sex with Johnny Knoxville, having a fling with her friend, abusing self tanning lotion- take your pick.


76 Comments:

Anonymous dizzy_girl said...
ahhhhhhhh... i knew there had to be a reason for caca head.... who can stand that piece of work besides jessica?... maybe papa joe? @ 10:40 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I used to think Johnny Knoxville was totally cool and hot. This has ruined him for me. Damn it. @ 10:42 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Brad Pitt, bisexual?

I'm sorry, but I don't believe it. He's ALWAYS with women (Juliette Lewis, Geena Davis, Robin Givens, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jen Aniston...) @ 10:43 PM GMT+1  
Blogger swirlogirl said...
good lord she looks like an alien. stretch out that neck you snaky biotch! @ 10:52 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Just think Brad Pitt and George Clooney, ladies. @ 10:57 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous mean and grumpy said...
i believe that i am at my quota for any sort of "tidbit" about the simpsons, both jessica and ashlee, along with that creepy dad of theirs...this includes anyone who is associated with them as well. @ 11:34 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I am so tired of that PR ho. I hope that dumbass movie bombs like a mofo. I for one, won't be going to see it. @ 11:47 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Em said...
Jessica Simpson is just ugly and untalented. I feel sorry for Nick. @ 11:57 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Be careful, DJ. Pappy Joe might try to sue you for, uh, slander. Or is it libel? @ 12:11 AM GMT+1  
Blogger Pisser said...
I must leap to the defense of my dear Orlando. If he is anything other than straight as an arrow's shaft, well then, I'd like to watch-!

Just tapping you lightly with a Lee Press-On Nail, DJ ;)

Anyway I love your expert opinions and this photo of Jess doing her imitation of a chicken. @ 12:28 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Brad is SO bisexual....go watch Troy and get back to me....and Aniston would not let him experiment.

Angelina is a voyuer who watches while he gets it on with another guy....remember the incident where the hotel staff beat down the door because it sounded like an animal was getting killed...well people are not unaware what wild sex sounds like but what wild gay male sex sounds like might sound really strange....

Rumor has it Angelina is letting him play for both teams and Aniston realized he just wanted to use her for a baby making machine. @ 12:37 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
You think that wild gay male sex sounds different than regular wild sex?? Why? Where were the hotel room noise complaint reports? Sounds like BS. And you sound like you are criticizing Jenn for allegedly not letting Brad experiment. Frankly, if my eventual husband expresses the desire to screw one of his friends in the ass, I will also object. First of all because it's cheating, and second because the thought of my guy and another guy does not turn me on in the least. @ 1:08 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Enough!
O.K. I think I'm done reading this blog.
This is getting too mean-spirited for me. It's no longer fun. You guys can take your hate and simmer in it. I'm going to go try to do something nice for a stranger to make amends for enjoying this blog previously. All these rumors. If they are true or if they are false I don't think it's right to revel in it. It is just sickening. @ 1:17 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yeah, i know what you mean Anon. I feel guilty when i diss a celeb or call a celeb fugly cuz they might be really nice people in real life. But ah well. I'll let other ppl bath in the hate, i'm just here to observe in amusement, i mean there's no crime in that right? Right??! @ 1:31 AM GMT+1  
Blogger Distressed Jeans said...
Ack! oh no. The blog is meant to be in fun, not to be taken seriously at all! Just poking fun at public personas. @ 1:46 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous mean and grumpy said...
even someone as mean and grumpy as myself could never be accused of being mean-spirited! i think the posts on this site are tame compared to what's out there. these blogs actually take alot of work and you have to be scary talented to write as creatively as DJ. @ 2:14 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Does anybody else notice the horrible makeup line she has on her neck? Can't she afford a better makeup person? @ 2:40 AM GMT+1  
Blogger ffleur said...
Sex & the City conversation:

Carrie: There is no such thing as bi-sexuality. It's just a pit stop on the way to gaytown.

Miranda: Is that next to Ricky Martinville?
----
hmmm... I wonder: pit stop or Pitt stop? (Pitt: stop dying your hair, stop getting sick, stop getting divorced, OK JUST STOP!) @ 3:13 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Lighten up, some of you folks! The people in question make kajillions of dollars. This blog is all some of us have ; ) @ 3:31 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Speaking of Pitt, here's what I've heard: he was recently hospitalized for meningitis and "something else". Angelina and her baby were hospitalized in NY for "something". Jennifer Aniston fell ill with the same symptoms as Brad three days before he checked himself into a hosptial. No, it wasn't heat stroke as they're reporting. What some are saying is that it's syphillis (which can take some time to show) that Angie got from Collin Farrell, who gave it to Brad, who gave it to Jennifer while they were still married, etc etc and it took all this time to show.

The AIDS baby story? Bogus. The kid's father is still alive, the mother died from bleeding to death after the birth, the grandmother wanted financial aid to support the five month old child, but Angelina talked her into letting her buy the baby. Now children's groups are protesting Angelina, asking why she didn't just make a donation if she really wanted to help the kid, instead of making up the AIDS story and buying the baby.

All sick stuff. @ 3:54 AM GMT+1  
Blogger R. U. Serious said...
Go Go Gadget neck!

Scared Bunny Blog – Yes, it’s offensive! @ 4:16 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous mean and grumpy said...
anon@1054: gosh, where did i hear that story before? oh, i know! it was in here, when prettykitty, swirlogirl, mizro, pisser, ffleur and even DJ with her bad self said the same thing! read the disclaimer...fiction. @ 5:19 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
mean and grumpy, just keep reading Ted Casablanca's columns. @ 5:27 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I don't doubt jess's Bi-ness. She's been looking quite Butch lately....plus, all the repressed sex took it's toll//she's experimenting now...what-ever! Nick never waned to go down on her anyhow...maybe Casee dines at the "Y"
As for Brad Pitt, ewww, man or woman, who could possibly put up with his nasty scent? The guy reeks.
Angelina has admitted to being attracted to women. She was with a model for a while.
Boring. @ 5:36 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
this picture makes her nose job so obvious. the bump is completely gone @ 6:54 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
DJ you keep up the hilarious writing -- mean or not, true or not, I absolutely love it. When someone decides to be an entertainer, they're asking for it. And they're rich for it! They are where they are because of luck (luck due to genes for good looks or the luck of being on the right casting couch at the right time), not because they have been great intellectuals or selflessly solved anyone's problems. Yet they acccept all the public's praise as if they were truly great intellectuals and humanitarians who deserve it (most probably didn't even graduate from high school)! They're not our real friends, and we don't own them anything. @ 8:18 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yes I think wild gay male sex sounds different than wild hetero sex....first of all we are bombarded with the sounds of hetero sex all the time....even if it goes over the top....it still sounds like SEX as most people understand it....when was the last time you ever heard two men getting it on with a frenzy?

And since I am a gay male I don't get what the big insult is to Brad or any other celeb to be called gay.

Honestly with half the people out there thinking they are defending the reputation of a celebrity from the horror of being called gay or bisexual when half of Hollywood is made up of gay and bisexual people only they don't tell you because your peabrains can't handle it.

LOL @ 11:58 AM GMT+1  
Blogger gabsmash said...
very juicy.... @ 12:45 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I don't believe Brad is bi or even gay. I think the real story is that most actors are gay and don't want to admit it, so they hook up with beards and pretend to be straight. They also lead a gay life, so the perception from people around them is that the are bi. It reminds me of Elton John. He said years ago he was bi and then later retracted and said he was never bi, always gay. He just pretended to be straight for awhile.

Brad has a history of long-term relationships with women. There haven't been any real gay rumors about him. People are only talking now because he's with that skank, Angelina.

Many of the other actors listed are gay. Kevin Spacey is well known to be gay by people in the know, although he hasn't officially come out. Same with Jodie Foster. She's been living with a woman for years. There are rumors about George Clooney, who is leading a Rock Hudson life right now. I don't think Matt Damon is gay or bi.

Just as a lot of fashion designers and male hair dressers are gay, so are a lot of male actors. I know it's a stereotype, but gay men are attracted to the theater, where many actors start their careers. @ 12:52 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
PLEASE let there be a sex tape of George and Brad floating around. @ 2:53 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I have always thought Brad was bi and I think one day he will come out.

Elton John was MARRIED so being with a woman doesn't mean you aren't gay. Ann Heche was with a lesbian and said she was a lesbian and then retracted it.

I think Brad is bi and always have. Its not because of Angelina Jolie. I only say he is BI because of all the female relationships he has had.

He is a man's man the man is certainly bisexual and I think the reason he has gone ga ga over Angelina is that she is also bisexual and it doesn't freak her out if he wants to be with other men. I think he can have his cake and eat it too. Perfect.

He doesn't seem to really love women. He was acting in Se7en. Jeeze people.... @ 3:43 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Brad Pitt Gay Movie Undertones

Troy....chesty mcchester with a big sword who loves his cousin and likes to beat on men with a big stick Plus he's Greek in it...

Fight Club chesty mcchester who likes to beat on men with his fist

Interview with a Vampire....Tom Cruise was in it for crying out loud playing his neck sucking mentor....

really people do I NEED to spell it out for you! @ 4:06 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Now that you mention it

Oceans Eleven about 11 guys hooking up for a heist....Julia "Just Call Me Dyke Hepburn" Roberts is the only woman to be seen for miles.


Oceans Twelve Catherine Zeta "Hire all the Prostitutes you want baby just don't make me touch it again" Jones plays his love interest....

And George "my best friend is a pig with steady hind quarters"Clooney plays his best friend in both....

now you gots me thinkin.... @ 4:15 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
hmmm maybe the "something else" is hollywoodese for gerbil removal? @ 4:24 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Brad Pitt isn't gay. Not bi either.

There have been a ton of gay rumors about Orlando Bloom though, one of them even mentioned Orlando and Viggo Mortensen (no, no, not Viggo...please). @ 6:56 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Manic Mom said...
GET RID OF THIS BITCHFACEJESSICASTUPIDSON DJ--I'm sick of looking at her ugly mug the million times I check your site to see if you've added someone new, someone more spectacular and gorgeous, someone like me! @ 7:39 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Distressed Jeans said...
anon 6:58- I can handle it. I wish the actors would just COME OUT ALREADY! @ 9:11 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous mean and grumpy said...
wow. now i'm the one insulted! who was the mean-spirited one that recommended i read ted c? it's too hard to decipher the language with his afflections and all. i prefer my conversations about famous people to be effortless..but thanks! @ 9:13 PM GMT+1  
Blogger elizabeth said...
Two things, one important, one silly. The important one is that the grandmother in the angelina baby story has been refuted by the adoption agency saying that there is no grandmother and that the mother died several months after the birth. Why do people want to find something sinister in someone adopting a child? The silly thing: look at JS's ponytail...the extensions are so obvious and it looks like something you buy at Walgreens.

PS Syphillis would be treated on an outpatient basis with antibotics. It can be nonsymptomatic for years unless it was late stage and it can take years for that to develop. @ 9:26 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Children's agencies believe the adoption agency in Ethiopia was bought out by Angelina Jolie and that is why they are claiming there is no grandmother. HOWEVER, the grandmother is on tape speaking about how Angelina bought the baby because she thought she "looked like her" and how the child still has family, surprisingly, just like little Maddox still has family.

Brad was hospitalized for meningitis, but he also has syphillis and he and Jennifer's symptoms (hers were only days earlier) were identical: fever, headache, and fainting spells. Angelina Jolie: the skank that keeps on giving.

http://thebosh.com/archives/2005/07/did_angelina_st.php @ 10:02 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Team Aniston said...
What is up with celebrity birthday parties. I am lucky if I get a hallmark card and cupcake. They give gifts have mechanical fish swim in the pools. Wear gowns and just are so self absorbed,Happy Fucking Birthday Too Drunk To care. @ 10:30 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I don't care if a celebrity is gay or not, but I do care if he/she is a liar. @ 10:57 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anon 3:18....I SO AGREEE with you about celebs and their overall blandness in real life. I couldnt have put it in better words.

PPl like JS are around for their cosmetic surgery (I wouldnt even call it good genes in her case)- NOT their talent, intelligence, or kindness in the world.

Gloria Steinem Jessica Simpson IS NOT!!! @ 11:15 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anon 5:02

I guess I should ignore you like the rest of the poster seem to, but your claims of definitive information are quite perplexing. First it is interesting that you reference a website that doesnt really help your arguement. It comes from a gossip blog that quotes an unsubstantiated as well as contridicted story from Star Magazine!?!? This blogger also quotes without sourcing,some dude from a organization that if you do a quick NGO search doesnt exsist. I suppose you get all your news from Fox and I would imagine that you heard the Brad Pitt has syphillis story from Bill O'Reilly. @ 11:59 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anon 6:59: Oh my, simply because you don't know who Matthew Collinson from the League for African Development is, doesn't mean he "doesn't exist". I guess all these other news sources made this up, too, huh? Moron.

http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/jolie%20baby%20taken%20from%20grandmother

http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/article/2442828

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/50692004.htm @ 12:08 AM GMT+1  
Blogger elizabeth said...
Anon 6:59

I agree with you...I dont understand why people like giving people bad diseases and accusing them of baby stealing when there is so many more benign ways to make ourselves feel better...how about Jessica's cocked-eyes?
regarding the other Anon "inside info". Which childrens agencies are saying the private agency was paid off? Musiccontact.com is another blog that is infamous for not attributing sources when they are weak... This should be fun, so lighten up and not believe everthing you read, but Jessica is crossed eyed!!!! @ 12:17 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
To Elizabeth: This blog is called "Conversations about Famous People", and citing entertainment magazines and sources is where you'll find things to talk about. The information isn't so "inside" as much as the story that Angelina has a deal with a major entertainment publication to make her baby buying look good in exchange for photos of her wedding to Brad. @ 12:23 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Elizabeth, not everyone who reads these blogs and comments are middle-aged housewives whose only contribution to a blog is a lame comment about a pretty blonde celebrity's eyes. Bored a little? @ 12:32 AM GMT+1  
Blogger elizabeth said...
Anon 7:32, Not bored with my life as you infer, just sick in bed, thanks for caring.

My point, which apparently isnt apparent, is that while not totally defensible, gossip and making fun of people (ie JS eyes) is different than accusing Angelina of baby stealing (using WENN as a source)or of a syphillis epidemic in the Pitt family (no source).

Thanks for visiting my blog. @ 1:07 AM GMT+1  
Blogger elizabeth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator. @ 1:34 AM GMT+1  
Blogger elizabeth said...
Anon 7:08:

Shouldnt gloat, could be bad for my delicate health but here is the latest from your beloved blog:

http://thebosh.com/archives/2005/07/angelina_jolie_20.php @ 1:36 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Angelina's baby stealing already warranted an investigation by the FBI, so that's hardly gossip. @ 1:37 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Blogs, schmogs, we'll see what comes out in the end. Reputable sources say she snatched this kid, too, and she's been barred from adopting in the US and UK, just a matter of time before Maddox writes a book, if he doesn't kill himself first. @ 1:42 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Elizabeth, you can't say a source is no good and then use it for your own method of "proof". Rule number one of good journalism: consistency. @ 1:44 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Jessica Simpson is looking more and more like a man everyday....

she kinda reminds me of "Jonathan" from Blow Out....good lookin man, but not a good look for girls.... @ 1:46 AM GMT+1  
Blogger elizabeth said...
Anon 8:44:

I was being ironic. However to your point, the blog and the wire
are hardly journalism let alone consistant. @ 1:55 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anon 8:44 I think Elizabeth is bored and simply looking for a little human interaction. Sad really. @ 2:00 AM GMT+1  
Blogger elizabeth said...
I am going to bed now...but I cant stand the misinformation that is floating around and it is so mean spirted not like my beloved DJ. This is a gossip blog, not pull sh*t out of your a@@. The agency that was involved in the first adoption was shut down by the FBI. Angelina was not under investigation, the dude who owned the agency was. This happened over a year ago. @ 2:04 AM GMT+1  
Blogger elizabeth said...
anon 9:00:

Now you are being ironic, get it?

My husband and four children provide more than enough (sometimes too much) human interaction. As I said before I am sick and thought this might be fun, not a mindbogglingly frustrating effort in communicating my ideas. @ 2:09 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Don't mess with sick mommies...they are meeeeaaaannn. @ 3:08 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anonymous 10:08 yeah, lucky kids. @ 3:34 AM GMT+1  
Blogger swirlogirl said...
hahah how is it a post that has nothing to do with angelina and brad conjure up all comments about them all the time! and 6:59 i get my news from fox AND i watch bill o'reilly and they never have mentioned brad pitt nor his syphillis. @ 3:46 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I never talk sh** about Angelina Jolie - I'm afraid she might try to adopt me. @ 4:45 AM GMT+1  
Blogger MrsDarkSheep said...
I don't care what their S.O. is (gay, straight, bi)...if they've come up famous in H'wood they've probably went down on their share. I can see most Hollywood actors as probably at least having experimented. And if we're talking about guys who look like Brad Pitt...that's hot. Anyone secure enough with their sexuality is not going to give a rat's ass about being gay. Most actors (with the exception of religious nutballs like Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson) get a kick out of people wondering about them. That's how they know they've really made it fame-wise. And a lot of the ones who are truly gay won't come out because their career depends on middle-america who goes to see their movies...and who would have a shit hemorrhage over their leading guy being a *fag* IRL. Personally, I could care less. If Brad Pitt is really bi, I'd probably find him hotter actually. @ 6:06 AM GMT+1  
Blogger Distressed Jeans said...
Freedom of speech and all that but please Play Nice!

There is so much gossip and stuff floating around, who knows whats true? Plus, I totally come out of the closet and admit..sometimes I fabricate the rumors so what I write is probably wayyyy far from the truth and meant for entertainment only. @ 6:09 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'll only play nice if I can have one of these cookies:

http://www.platinecookies.com/Default.aspx @ 7:11 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I so KNEW there was something scetchy about Angelina's adoption. Way to be on top of the gossip anon 10:54. @ 2:16 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
even though none of this fits into this particular post, if what you speak of in regards to the angelina adoption/wedding pictures is indeed true, WTF is brad doing caught up in all of this? that makes everyone out to be a whore. honestly, do humanitarians really behave that way? that would just be wrong... @ 7:11 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
She Looks FINE!!! @ 6:21 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Jessica Simpson the good Christian girl a lesbian?! Now that would be funny..... @ 9:12 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous suckerz said...
Did anyone ever see that show Driven on VH1 where they told the story of how JS was touched by God and whatever bullshit and how she became the "greatest purest singer" ever? supposedly back in her highschool days ppl used to harassed her and call her lesbo and shit now it all makes sense.... @ 10:43 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Jodie Foster is not bi.. C'mon Distressed- she is a full fledged lesbian. Every one knows that!! @ 7:17 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
you are all crazy and need to get lives @ 7:11 AM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
o my lord . . . i so dont belive that brad pitt is bi . . . . he is always and always with a woman unless behind the cameras hes with a man but still i so dont belive that i mean u gutta admit brad pitt is HAWT and DAM FINE!!!
DAM @ 9:00 PM GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Your title and your blog don't match each other. There is a difference between being bisexual and being a lesbian. So which onbe is she? If your going to blog things such as this you could at least make it less confusing... @ 4:12 PM GMT+1  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
a friend of mine - male - recently split up with Matt Damon. He didn't mind Damon getting married, but wanted to be his only guy.

damon said he was too much of a slut to to give up sex with men when he was away from home. @ 11:31 AM GMT  
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