Monday, June 27
I used to think Ben Affleck was cute. In Pearl Harbor he was pretty hot in that uniform and his curly hair all combed nicely.
Then I read about how he liked to place his nuts on people's necks and how he also enjoys using his penis as a prop. Then there was that time we were playing poker and well, you remember what he considered his royal flush, right?
And now I see that he...gulp...he...he has Lady Hands! Those fingers are long and white and the hands are kind of small for such a big guy. I'm sorry Ben but I cannot see you any more. You will not be laying on my yacht stroking my perfectly peachy buttocks any time soon. Not with those girly fingers.
Grab your vodkatinis. It's time to chat!
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