Conversations about Famous People

Friday, June 24

Did you know that Paris Hilton's pampered, snooty dog violently attacked a television producer? It really makes me think twice as Paris later bragged she treats her dogs like her children. She said she will be a wonderful mother, better than Britney Spears! She is a mother who teaches her children to bite. How impolite! Obviously the dog hasn't been taking her etiquette classes seriously. One should never bite a stranger and always remember the cloth napkin goes across your lap.

Here's the low down: Tinkerbell, who was in full princess regalia, was taken to the Today show by Tink's grandma, Kathy Hilton. The producer was chatting with Kathy about monogrammed sweaters when the dog began barking like a rabid coyote with a limb caught in a trap. The producer attempted to pacify the beast by putting her hand in Tinkerbell's luxury accommodations, her Louis Vuitton carrying case. Tinkerbell bared her piranha teeth and bit the producer. Lawsuit!

Mrs. Hilton sat and watched, not even attempting to help the situation. She just toyed with her pearls and watched the showdown. You think maybe Kathy could have done something like waved a can of caviar in front of the dog or promised her a new diamond tiara? No. I believe Kathy was high on valium and unable to move her botoxed face- a double negative.

So, back to Paris being a good mom- yeah. And the news on the street is Paris and Paris's (the plural being Pari) engagement? A sham. The two will never marry. She wanted this set up to erase the image of Porn Star Paris from the minds of her fans and lure them into thinking of her as Domestic Wife Paris. Just wait and see. No wedding. No baby. But one hell of a mean bitch.

17 Comments:

Anonymous said...: I have one word for her DISAPPEAR! @ 6:43 AM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: I have one word for her HOT!!!

bitch about her all you want... that girl is PHAT!!! @ 7:10 AM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Well, the producer was dumb to put her hand anywhere near the dog while it was freaking out. I agree Kathy H. should have restrained the dog though. Maybe if it shredded HER hand, she'd learn that dogs are not fashion accessories. @ 11:31 AM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: I don't know about that whole 'marriage is a sham' theory. Didn't the sex tape come out in like 2003? Why wait this long to fix her image?

I agree with Anon @ 2:10 though, Paris is hot. I'm so ashamed to admit this....I actually bought her book.

/ducks and runs for cover @ 1:44 PM GMT+1
Team Aniston said...: Its been 17 minutes she has to leave already. Fifteen was up... @ 2:16 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: I can't stand her. @ 2:31 PM GMT+1
MizRo said...: Kathy Hilton is afraid of the dog herself! That and she's thoroughly tranquilized... @ 2:41 PM GMT+1
R. U. Serious said...: I have a theory.

Months ago, when Paris lost her dog, her assistants replaced it with a dog they found at the pound, knowing she'd never know the difference.

Now I fear the replacement dog has rabies.

Damned If I Know @ 3:36 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: I would not be surprised if it was a sham...I heard that the male-Paris is not that rich after all, it's all his uncle's money. @ 4:51 PM GMT+1
cokecanboy said...: Poor pooch must be absolutely traumatized with such a dim owner like PeeHilt. @ 5:37 PM GMT+1
steph said...: part 2 to jenn's awesome paris and paris haiku from a while back:

paris and paris,
is your engagement a sham,
should i still send gifts? @ 5:38 PM GMT+1
Pisser said...: That dog has the same sweet disposition as its "mother". I'm confused here...is she holding TWO dogs? Attempting to nurse again...?

Hee! This is one of my favorites of all time, DJ. I love how you refer to them as "Pari", which sounds like some sort of a nasty bacterial strain.

I think someone has put their hand in Paris' "luxury accommodations" a few too many times. @ 5:53 PM GMT+1
MizRo said...: Paris the male lives on Paris the females' $$$ - I've read that he is a poor relation of the Latsis family; that her ring cost HER $500,000.00 and that she is supporting him - it must be love! @ 8:36 PM GMT+1
Maria said...: I just love the plural of Paris being Pari. You are hilarious!

As for Tinkerbell, she was defending her LV carrier from peasant hands! Would you truly blame her? @ 9:20 PM GMT+1
Cryscket said...: It's not the same dog. Paris lost her "child", Tinkerbell, a while back and never got him (yes, the real Tinkerbell was a male) back.

It's Tinkerbell look alikes. @ 10:00 PM GMT+1
numberuno said...: It wouldn't surprise me if it was a sham-she must find a way to stay in the news. @ 11:07 PM GMT+1
LA Trash said...: I've been to that Jamba Juice! Santa Monica & La Brea. @ 11:39 PM GMT+1