Nice zippered crotch. Very easy access!
J Lo. thinks she might be pregnant. What a copycat! I hear she was totally crushed when she learned of the Garner-Affleck pregnancy. It was her and Ben that were supposed to have a child together! Dammit! According to one of my trusty tabloids, Ben and Jen discussed having a baby and giving birth to Benny Junior was J. Lo's dream. But no longer. She took to her satin covered bed and lit candles when she heard of the big news. It hurts, people. It hurts bad. She is forced to view Jennifer Garner's big ears and slightly swollen tummy on every magazine cover. Quicker than you can say "Impregnate" Jenny from the Block is insisting she might be with child as well. Take that, Affleck!
"For the first time ever, I woke up in the middle of the night starving. I really wanted to get up and eat. I thought, 'Oh dear, I can't start that habit.' At 10am I got up and had four eggs."
What she means to say is, "At 10am, I woke up and ordered my personal maid to make me four organic eggs. Then I demanded Canadian bacon and freshly squeezed orange juice with a side of caviar flown in from France. I forced her to serve me breakfast in bed and then made her repeat it all over again, this time with a single white calla lily in a Waterford crystal vase on my breakfast tray!"
She then sent a case of ice cream, a vat of lard and a box of Whitman's chocolates to Jennifer Garner with a note urging her to "eat up".
posted by Cindy @ 11:35 PM
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11 Comments:
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Pisser said...
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Oh, pobrecita. She had to get up at 10:00 a.m.
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Anonymous said...
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make sure to wear underwear with those jeans, JLO! That zipper caught in the cooch would be an ouch! @ 11:48 PM GMT+1
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Pisser said...
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It gives a whole new meaning to "vagina dentata". @ 11:49 PM GMT+1
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Anonymous said...
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Damn if she doesn't look more and more like a coked-out Whitney Houston every day. @ 11:53 PM GMT+1
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Anonymous said...
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It took a few minutes to tear my eyes from the crotch bondage, but is that tape really supposed to hide the word on her shirt? @ 11:55 PM GMT+1
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εϊз VRONIQ εϊз said...
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I've always been a fan of Ben Affleck so, I was so angry when I heard about the news, but if J.LO's trying to get back at him by saying she's pregnant, give up hunny, he didn't pay any attention to you while ya'll were in a relationship what makes you think he'll show affection now?
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Anonymous said...
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Did she fire her stylist? Dang, that is one scary broad. I guess her shirt sums up her feelings on fashion. She should have pupt the tape over her cooch to ensure no "There's Somthing About Mary" vagina situation. @ 5:47 PM GMT+1
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Anonymous said...
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I just got a yeast infection from viewing this picture. @ 9:55 PM GMT+1
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Anonymous said...
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My God I totally thought that was Whitney Houston. @ 12:15 AM GMT+1
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Anonymous said...
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I thought that was Whitney too! Well when you act all uppity with your man he leaves you for someone who is less picky and high-maintenance who likes you and dont have to plan having a baby, just doing it makes it way more fun. Let's not forget that not so long ago she was fly-girl on "In Living Color." I dont hear too many thank yous to the Waynans from Ms. Lopez. @ 12:27 AM GMT+1
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Anonymous said...
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That zipper looks like a giant episiotomy. Whatapig. @ 2:06 AM GMT+1
Post a Comment | << HomeI am now having horrid visions of baby chincillas being slaughtered to make baby booties for her unborn's four legs. @ 11:41 PM GMT+1
Xoxo, Veronique @ 9:04 AM GMT+1