Conversations about Famous People: Worse than a poopy diaper

Saturday, April 30

Worse than a poopy diaper

Do you find yourself asking, WHY? Do you feel the need to vomit? Has the photo/appearence of Tom and Katie replaced your need for laxatives? Is it true the Olsen twins only have to look at Tom and they lose their appetite? Do your butt cheeks clench when Tom calls Katie his "girlfriend"? And more to the point, how can I sign up to be a beard?

I'd love to be friends with a gay guy a la Tom, keep his secrets, spend his money, shop together, eat out and then not have to worry about sex complicating the whole deal. I don't have a movie coming out soon, like Katie and Tom do, so I don't have big ulterior motives other than to accept gifts of designer clothing and a few pairs of Jimmy Choos. An Infiniti would be nice too. A day a week at a spa would really seal the deal and I wouldn't tell a soul he favors those of the male persuasion.

I think Katie has it made! Lucky girl. I wonder if she has to sit through any Scientology bullshit. That would definately require diamonds. If I had to sit through Battlefield Earth or go to a "get together" at *John Travolta's house, I would demand expensive French perfume and a first class trip to Paris.

Do their publicists work out the details? Is this a two year contract? After his War of the Worlds comes out and her Batman movie hits the theaters, will there be a breakup? Did anyone else hear of Tom being compared to Rock Hudson? Hmmm. Is he out of the closet to everyone but himself? This career of being beard is one sweet deal. Sign me up. Does Orlando need a chick to cover for him? I hear he has a contract with Kate Bosworth thats due to expire soon.

* My extensive celebrity research has lead me to find out John's son is not his biological child. Yes, John is allegedly gay but keep these between us, okay? Why do you think he loves flying in the cockpit so much?

35 Comments:

Anonymous said...: Great post. I'm amazed by the amount of time and effort that goes into creating the "straight facade" gay actors and actresses hide behind. It's kind of sad, actually...I wish they could just come out and be real and spare us all this p.r. bullsh*t {which no one's buying anymore, anyway}. @ 6:26 AM GMT+1
Nic said...: I had a friend many, many years ago, during the EARLY Nicole phase who worked on a movie set with Tom and said that he would have men come to his "trailer" instead of the women that the other guys ordered up. They were told never to talk bout it. Of course, did that shut my friend up? Oh NOOOOO! @ 9:14 AM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: A closeted gay man and a saving-herself-for-marriage virgin. Match made in heaven. Except she's taller than him-- look how he has to reach upward to clutch her head in his paws. @ 9:44 AM GMT+1
Manic Mom said...: Agreed--it's a perfect match!!! Neither of them wants sex with the other. @ 2:13 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: That looks an awful lot like the Michael Jackson-Lisa Marie Presley MTV awards smooch from back in the day. Fakers!!!! @ 2:29 PM GMT+1
twitterpated said...: No wonder Rosie O'Donnell was so enamored with Tom -- I think her gaydar picked up on it.

And look how he has to crouch to kiss her. Eeewwww. Couldn't she just marry Josh Jackson (Pacey) so we could revel in that.

And I never thought Tom was gay -- until I saw him with Katie. Thanks for bringing the truth out. I was blind and now I see. @ 3:22 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: This is getting to be ree-goddamn-dickulous.
He is such a fag.
She has sunk to low low levels of the cess-pit. @ 5:11 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: I saw a news piece with an interview with Katies dad. He said they met a few weeks before at a "business meeting"...it makes me ill. Especially to see him climb up there to kiss her... @ 5:41 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: I know, DJ, wouldn't it be great to be a beard??? Nice work, if you can get it. @ 5:56 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: My friends and I just said he is definitely this day and ages's Rock Hudson for sure! I didn't believe he was gay; but this latest "conquest" proves it! @ 6:02 PM GMT+1
Manic Mom said...: I bet their business meeting was to work out all the details of their "relationship." I bet Tom picks a chick who he wants to make the next big thing, who will not want to have sex with him, and then they have their publicists figure out all the details. There was a movie out and I think it was called "America's Sweethearts" and it starred John Cusack and Julia Roberts, and how they were a celebrity couple, then weren't a couple but still pretended to be a couple for the sake of stardom. Sounds like Tom and Katie are doing this. I also think maybe Brad and Angelina are too? They hook up for their big movie debuts, get the extra publicity and WHAM. That's it. @ 6:04 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: worse than a poopy diaper- PERFECT! =-O* * * barf

jax @ 6:06 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: I'd like to hear more about Jet Travolta not being John's kid... @ 7:55 PM GMT+1
c said...: i saw jett travolta in person and he looks a LOT like john. i don't know if i buy the story he's not his biological son. where'd that info come from? @ 8:48 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Even if it is his biological kid, I'd hazard a guess the kid was conceived in a lab. @ 9:37 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Why is it that Tom is sooooo private and always suing to protect his privacy, but is so eager to get himself and his "girlfriend" out in the open after only a few weeks of dating? The staged posing and smooching reeks. @ 10:26 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: It looks like a daddy kissing his daughter! @ 11:02 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Yick! Gross! Barf! @ 11:27 PM GMT+1
denverista said...: You are sooooo right about this one DJ! I'm so sure this will be short lived and then on to the next beard. When will the truth come out?!!!?!! @ 12:14 AM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: its common knowledge in LA that tom/nicole/john practically every famous person dabbles in hetero/homo group sex. thats not to say john (for example) doesn't love his wife + kids... he just swings both ways. "everything in hollywood is fake." thats what it means. us little people could not comprehend without the missing link: our lovely DJ. keep up the good work deej! @ 1:50 AM GMT+1
Esther said...: BLECCCCH!

Must rinse retinas out with bleach. @ 5:07 AM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Look at Katie, she's like "damn, why do I have to get this close to the midget, I didn't sign up for this!!!" @ 5:38 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: LOL at the last comment. @ 7:30 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: It looks like Katie is about to laugh because this is all just so ridiculous. She doesn't think anyone will buy it either. @ 8:36 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: So, we're supposed to believe that Katie, who dated Chris Klein for 5 years, and was engaged, has never had sex? So she's gay too? And Chris Klein? Is everyone gay? @ 11:12 PM GMT+1
insou2you said...: everyone is indeed gay, and i for one would be happier if they just admitted it.
A friend of mine claims to have worked in the entertainment law office that brokered tom and nicole's marriage - the deal was 10 million for five films, three costarring Tom. Notice how once she got that, she was out out out?
He's not fooling me, although the startling news of Katie's "virginity" took me aback some. Maybe she is one of those that figures taking it up the butt does not count, so being a beard is not all so bad. @ 6:20 PM GMT+1
jn said...: That is even less believable than seeing Katie kiss James van der Beek and expecting us to believe she was all tortured and in lurve with Dawon when she had Mr. Beefcake Jackson hovering over her declaring his undying Pacey love. @ 7:26 PM GMT+1
cloudy said...: EEEEWWEEE!!!

Tom is gross.

John T being gay makes so much sense to me. @ 8:27 PM GMT+1
n.v. said...: ew, look at the way his chin chunk is stretching! @ 10:29 PM GMT+1
n.v. said...: Tom will turn 50 and come "out" in a series of Ben Gay commercials airing on SuperBall Sunday. @ 10:30 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Please take it easy on Jett T. He is the spitting image of John. But more important, he happens to be autistic and non-verbal, which is why John and Kelly sheild him from the public. Thanks. @ 11:31 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: yes jett travolta is autistic and they will not get help for him because in scientology you cannot go to psychiatrists or doctors really. and on katie and tom, my aunt's best friend has been a public relations person in hollywood for close to 30 years and she says that EVERYONE knows john travolta and tom cruise are GAY. everyone everyone everyone knows!!! it's like a joke at this point. john may have had heterosexual relations but tom never has. i mean even back to taps and top gun he was with guys. paula wagner his agent has helped him hide it since risky business...etc...every women he has ever been with has been a beard..EVERY SINGLE ONE. just thought you should know. @ 6:11 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: word here in la is that tom has a latin boyfriend, and has for a while. he keeps him in santa monica and presents him as his 'trainer.' but everyone here knows what's up. @ 3:16 AM GMT+1
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