Conversations about Famous People: Renee can't breathe, her corset is too tight!

Monday, February 28

Renee can't breathe, her corset is too tight!

Dammit, that Selma Hayek kept stepping on Renee's gown all night, or so she thought. Really, it was Kate Winslet.

I wanted to know how Renee walked in that super tight dress. When I called her cell phone to ask, she told me she kept her thighs pressed tightly together all night creating a friction that made her sweat in her Kodak theater chair. When she sat down, she needed to unzip the back in order to breathe. She admitted to being nervous Adam Duritz was trying to unzip it further. Renee whispered that she was very uncomfortable and she should have gone with a loose fitting vintage Chanel.

We all must suffer for beauty. Thanks for being our champion, Renee! Now about that hair and the sour puckered lips...

13 Comments:

Anonymous said...: .....hmmmmmm, why would she go out wanting to look like a White Stripes CD? @ 12:58 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: Why oh why won't she go back to being blond? @ 3:21 PM GMT
Esther said...: When she came out to present the award, I thought for sure she was going to trip and go flying into the orchestra.

I can't imagine spending 4 minutes in that dress, let alone 4 hours and probably the after parties, as well. @ 4:39 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: When I first saw her I thought who is the oriental woman in the red riding hood outfit?! Please stop with the botox and cheek implants already, her eyes are disappearing! @ 5:00 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: The picture here is actually falttering compared to the close up shots on the sites.....yikes @ 5:55 PM GMT
Icecrmqween said...: She looked like an anorexic lobster with sea foam on her tail. @ 7:04 PM GMT
Laura said...: Would someone please explain to me again why she is famous? If that can't be answered, will someone please explain to me why some people think she's attractive? I just can't seem to get the logic down. P.S. Those dresses don't make it look like it's fun (or easy) to walk, in fact, I thought the way those dresses made the ladies walk made them look pretty stupid. @ 7:14 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: She looks like Queen of the Elves, all set to go to the Christmas Ball. @ 8:06 PM GMT
ayebeesea said...: Actually, she rather reminds me of Charlie Chaplain... in a dress (just look at her from the neck up. Stick a black bowler hat on her and she's a dead ringer for Charlie, no doubt!). @ 4:30 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: pretty funny how not one guy in that picture is even looking at her... @ 7:07 AM GMT
Anonymous said...: While I love Bridgette Jones I do not love the woman who plays her. The world is an interesting place Ms. Z, OPEN YOUR EYES and take a look. And for God's sake what is with the "who farted?" scrunched up look on your face all the time? By the way, what retard suggested that body painting yourself with white-out from the office supply store was a good idea? Lastly, and my biggest b*tch of all, is there a chance that maybe, just once you could wear something other than a strapless Carolina Herrera gown? Wearing various shades of the same dress does not a signature look make. While Charlize is known as classic and Salma is known as sexy, you will just be known (and I use that term in its broadest sense) as utterly dull and predictable...well that and your obvious ability to sniff out a fart within a 5 block radius. @ 4:18 PM GMT
Laura Jane said...: This dress looked very good on the Oscar stage-- well except for the ruffle ripped off from an old Hoot-a-Nanny dress. It was tight, sure, but you have to suffer for beauty. Her figure looked fabulous as she swept across the stage, walked up to the microphone...close in shot of her face...and I gasped in horror. My good she is looking ugly. The stylist who convinced her to go with short black hair and red lipstick is not, NOT her friend!!!
Do you think someone is secretly sabotaging her? Telling her what a fabulous look this is? @ 4:54 PM GMT
Anonymous said...: She looked absolutley horrid at the Oscars. That dress would look good on someone else if they can find someone small enough to both a) wear the dress and b) walk.

Fashion or "couture" be damned. You shouldn't wear a dress so tight you can't walk/stand/sit comfortably.

Something frightening has happened to Renee's face. Where is the cute fresh-faced young woman from Jerry McGuire? She's been replaced by a blow-fish faced cartoon. The black hair is HORRIBLE. The eyes are squinty and lost in folds of cheeks that come from... where? With body fat that low, how can she possibly still have fat cheeks?

The other women were probably gathering in the bathroom and snickering about how bad Renee looked. @ 10:48 PM GMT